Just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. When people run away with their assumptions and judgements, it can have a significant negative impact on emotions and behaviour. It all starts with a thought, that can multiply into many and turn into conclusions with little evidence to back them up. Let’s discuss finding ways to tame negative thoughts. Encouraging people to consider how true their thoughts are, is a useful counselling tool designed to help clients who find themselves stuck in their head. It’s a simple interruption, when used at the right moment, that can have a positive and lasting influence.
We need to gather evidence or clarify situations before we judge and conclude.
Scenario 1
You: My boss hates me because I was late this morning.
Your boss: Oh, what a rubbish night’s sleep. I’m not feeling it today.
Your boss may not notice that you’re late or if they do, they don’t hate you, but rather they just need you to be on time.
Scenario 2
You: My child is embarrassed by me because I’m not as cool as their friend’s mum.
Your child may have perceptions of you, as children do, but remember, you are a parent, not their best friend. You have a responsibility for their safeguarding, setting rules, routines, and boundaries, before you worry about popularity.
Scenario 3
You: I lost my job because I’m new and I don’t fit in. I am a failure.
Your employer/company: we are having to let people go because we are losing money. The fairest thing to do is to let go of those that started most recently.
No matter your parenting or professional skills, perceptions can cloud judgement when we let thoughts run away with themselves. Take a step back from any given situation and be honest with yourself by looking at the evidence. Then work through the challenges you face in a more open and positive way to resolve them better.
Raise awareness to any negative thought patterns spinning around your head. Catch them before they take hold. STOP! Breathe deeply to interrupt any sign of your thoughts spiraling and take the time you need to understand the picture fully. The scenario may have triggered emotions in you that need to be managed before you act. Ask yourself: what would help me right now?
Once your emotions have calmed it can be helpful to write a list of things you can do to help your situation.
Consider the following:
- Communicate: seek support from a friend or expert to help you
- Reframe: turn negative thoughts into positive solutions
- Move: walk in nature or exercise to clear your head and change your mood
- Act: call the bank, the school, work; whomever you need to involve
- Reflect: consider what you did well and how you could improve.
Affirmation: Be kind to yourself
Journal your thoughts ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
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3 Take aways:
Just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true.
We need to gather evidence or clarify situations before we judge and conclude.
Raise awareness to any negative thought patterns spinning around your head.
Reflection:Think about a scenario you’re struggling with. What would help you right now?
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