When you build a heathy and nurturing relationship with your child, you deposit positive supportive energy into that relationship. Strong bonds help your child to deal with difficult life matters more easily. When they know you care about them and want the best for them, they may not respond well in the moment, but deep down they feel safe. 

Tips for building bonds with your child to help them thrive:

• Express your thoughts and feelings respectfully using ‘I’ statements
• Get their full attention before you start important conversations
• Speak in ways that support your child to listen and give them space to respond 
• When you raise issues keep to one thing at a time as a list may overwhelm them
• Be cautious with assumptions: check how true your perceptions are
• Attempt to understand your child’s perspective to solve problems 
• Prepare to negotiate to achieve cooperation
• Role model positive language and behaviour.

Growth occurs when your child is receptive to new things, not when they are emotionally blocked.Build their skills when they are open in preparation for the next time rather than trying to force change during difficult encounters. 

Skills for listening

• Stop everything you’re doing and focus on the matter at hand
• Stay calm and show you’re attentive with your body language 
• Acknowledge the views and perspectives they share
• Attempt to understand the child’s perspective, thoughts, and feelings.

Skills for showing understanding

• Reflect on what you hear
• Summarise what you think the child means by what they say
• Talk about their thoughts and feelings
• Communicate that you want to work through difficult situations with them

Use ‘I statements’ to talk about how something made you feel rather declaring blame. They help to separate the behaviour from the person and remove accusations that may be inaccurate. The aim is to avoid emotions escalating and maintain communication. After all, our emotional responses are based on our perception of a situation that may not be accurate. And the intention of the other person may not be to upset you. 

An example ‘I statement’: I feel upset because of what you said to me.

Journal your thoughts ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

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3 Take aways:

When you build a heathy and nurturing relationship with your child, you deposit positive supportive energy into that relationship. 

Use ‘I statements’ to talk about how something made you feel rather declaring blame. 

Growth occurs when your child is receptive to new things, not when they are emotionally blocked. 

Reflection:

What do you do to build supportive bonds to help your child thrive?